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Pretty Police… with Sugar on Top


July 16, 2011 by wcobserver

The police have pulled me over 5 times in the last two weeks. In fact, 3 of the 5 times occurred in just a 24-hour period. That has to be some kind of record. I mean… seriously… I thought air travel was tough, which is exactly why I became a writer instead of say… a terrorist. Can you imagine someone like me trying to smuggle a .357 Magnum through JFK? Heck… a pair of scissors? I can’t even drive across town without a full-on investigation for a broken taillight.

Now don’t get me wrong. Before I’m the target of some kind of “columnist” profiling, let me say that I’m truly grateful for the dedicated officers who are on the streets getting the job done day in and day out. I simply didn’t realize there was this kind of police presence in our little corner of the earth.

The first incident was about 2 miles outside of the airport. I hadn’t seen my significant other in 10 weeks and I thought perhaps I had been speeding without noticing… which would’ve been in stark contrast to my typical behavior…which involves speeding intentionally. Luckily I wasn’t speeding at all. But my taillight was out. So the officer very patiently sent me on my way with a suggestion to have it fixed the next day.
About 30 minutes later, with my house in sight, I saw the blue lights again. This time it was the Fayetteville police. When the officer approached the window I started blabbing away. “I’m so sorry… did you, by any chance, pull me over for the taillight… cause I just got stopped a couple of towns over for the same thing… I had no idea it was out….” I babbled for another couple of minutes until he explained that the taillight was exactly why he had pulled me over. But he didn’t give me a ticket. In fact, we chatted and laughed. He talked to my boyfriend about Ireland and where we met, what our plans were while he was in town. Honestly… I’ve been on dates with less in-depth conversation.
As for my boyfriend, he was just shocked. He didn’t realize that there was even a possibility of being stopped by the police without a full-on search for a pipe bomb.

The next night I was pulled over again for the same light being out… but this time in Elkins. I felt like I was being Punk’d. I kept thinking Ashton Kutcher was going to come out of the bushes at any minute and put me in jail for the faulty light crime. But no… I’m actually just that unlucky.
Four days later we started a road trip out to Taos, New Mexico. I was stopped on the way there for making a u-turn. On the way home it was for speeding… which, admittedly… was intentional… but also utterly defensible. The irony is that my boyfriend had just mentioned the speed limit to which I replied…“well yeah… but everyone goes 10 over here…” Cue siren. Cue lights.

​The good news about my recent and multiple brushes with the law is that each incident resulted in a simple warning. Thank goodness. On the other hand, I still haven’t had that taillight fixed. So keep your eyes open. I might just make it onto the Washington County website after all… under “Detention Intake Report.”​



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